Too many stories float today about how some male journalists were asking out some PR ladies to the movies or to the dinner. I recently was asked what to do in such a scenario by a young pretty PR lady.

I replied that if the journalist is asking her out as a man to a woman, there is nothing much I can say to help. She has to use her feminine instincts. However, if the journalist is asking her out just because she is a PR lady and he assumes that PR people are supposed to wine and dine, she can politely tell him that the wining and dining in question is not about going to the movies or to the local pubs with a journalist. The wining and dining that we do are only at well-planned corporate events organised as part of a marketing campaign. Few rotten apples tend to spoil the whole basket.

Well, maybe in not so many words. But that’s the point to be made. In case it doesn’t do, tell your senior colleague at office and make sure he/she writes a letter to the editor of the newspaper where the journalist is working. And if the senior is too scared silly because he might lose his good terms with a journalist, well… a leader who cannot protect his/her subordinates is no leader to learn from.

To get a better perspective from a veteran lady PR professional, I asked Surekha Pillai, General Manager and Delhi Head of IPAN, what she would advise a young colleague who is facing such ‘misbehaviour’.

She admits that it is a common problem faced by many in the industry and said:

My take is that we all really make a big deal out of this whereas the solution in my opinion is fairly simple. Every employee should be empowered to exercise what I could call his/her right to self respect and modesty. At IPAN, all employees are. They are encouraged to politely and firmly stand their ground when met with disdainful behaviour from media or clients. I recently wrote a letter of complaint to the CEO of a client company about unacceptable behaviour from his communications department towards the team that manages the account. He was extremely gracious about it – he responded with an apology, as well as a reassurance that the matter will be immediately dealt with. To a large extent, the industry is responsible for how we are dealt with, perceived and looked at.

Back to your specific question, let’s consider a few points:

a) What is ‘misbehaving’? The way I look at it, a male colleague at work could be asking the girl out, someone from the client’s side could do the same and the same goes with media. We tend to get extremely defensive just because we are in a profession that many perceive to be a business of wining and dining. Such a situation could arise anywhere and is not necessarily specific to media and PR. What often is also interesting to note is that when a journalist who is asking someone out is interesting enough for the person who is being asked out, then it is seen as an extension of the relationship and not ‘misbehaving’. So it really is all about perspectives.

b) When you talk of advising the lady in question about explaining the wining and dining bit to the journalist, I again think we are being defensive. I don’t think it’s anybody’s business to question or know why we wine and dine. It happens in EVERY profession where there are opportunities to get together and connect with your stakeholders, why make a song and dance about it only when the PR folks do it. I wouldn’t throw light on it.

c) I would advise her to take a call based on her personal interest levels and also that if he acts difficult as a result of it, she should respond in a way she deems fit and not lose sleep over it. I would reassure her if her act was justified, we will back her to the hilt.

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