An Issue of integrity
By Madhavi Mukherjee on Apr 10, 2008 in ethics, featured, issues
It’s not been so much difficult writing this but to get people to open up and give their point of view …and since everyone has a right to privacy, that’s a request which has been made to me by most people I spoke to and I will adhere to that. The topic here is about mis-behaviour and mis demeanor with PR professionals by Clients and sometimes journalists too. PR as a profession has long been considered to be a profession that heavily relies on wining and dining and guess it is that perception that drives forward the intent of some people to think that it is okay to act fresh or make advances to people who belong to this profession. Albeit I would like to deny personally that that happens only in PR, since I do know that there are people with lewd mentality every where and you meet them wherever you go. It is how you deal with it, what you come across and the action you take against the person is what matters the most.
I have been speaking to branch heads, team leaders and heads of organisations I know to whom I posed the question in terms of what would they do if someone from their team was treated in any way that was vulgar and sick. Almost all of them said that they would immediately take cognisance of it and bring it to the notice of the senior most people in the organisation both at the Client’s end as well as the agency. And if after warnings, the problem persisted, they would give up the account no matter what. Some of them have given up accounts because the problem persisted.
But again the discussion is not so black and white…mis behaviour, mis demeanor and harassment is not always one sided. It is very much a function of how each one of us conducts ourselves, how we behave, how we talk, our mannerisms, the signals we pick and give out and if there is anything that makes the other person feel that one is ‘available’ issues such as these crop up. However there have also been instances when guys have been harassed by female Clients and that’s when I realised that gender issues are no more about just women…they are beyond all lines and rules…it’s all individualistic and very dependant on situations and people themselves.
Some rules that I try to follow as a girl in this profession….
• Never go alone for Client meetings or media rounds unless you know the people really well
• Always go with someone along and have the team anyways with you….so that you are not just in good company but also do not have to come back and summarise the meeting details to your team
• Try to meet Clients and Media in their offices and if you are meeting them outside for lunch or snack meet at a place which is more fun, casual and crowded instead of restaurants with a certain ambience
• Dress appropriately…. This is a profession of not just overt communication processes but of informal, subliminal and behavioral communication. Dress decently to not attract any unwanted attention
• Be professional in your behaviour and conduct • If in spite of all this, you are faced with an uncomfortable situation, do not shy away from talking about it, but bring it up to the notice of your seniors
• Do not get hysterical while reporting about the incident but state facts and get both parties involved
At the end of the day, stand up for yourself and if you think no one is taking an action against the unfair treatment, take a decision that protects your integrity and self esteem. Since nothing is more important than your self esteem.
Madhavi Mukherjee
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On Apr 10, 2008, himanshu kapadia said:
for girls its great to have you as the boss who understands, some pointers from my side- do not get to friendly on the orkut or chats or on sms after all journalist too are humans, also if you allow and ignore one bad sms u will be given many more avoid sending sms without reason also don’t encourage vulgar sms or bulk mails in the mask of goodmorning or greeting messages. The most important dont be a blonde, read about the subject before meeting the media if he/she thinks you are a fool he will take you for a ride u should be clever and intelligent on the subject for him/her to appreciate your job
On Apr 10, 2008, Palin Ningthoujam said:
Great post Madhavi. I guess the days of wining and dining are gone. But there are agencies that ask managers to be in the good books of the clients by being pally if required, have a cup of tea, drop in to say hi, etc. so that the account functions smoothly in the agency. This is the kind of attitude that needs to be avoided. The work should speak and nothing else.
I guess not many would come out and comment, as you mentioned, but at least this serves as a good guidance for all the young people joining the industry.
On Apr 12, 2008, Shael Sharma said:
While I appreciate and empathize clearly with challenges faced by a woman executive in being professional, I disagree with some of the rules proffered. The link assumed here between integrity and proposed social mores of womanhood is dubious.
Wrong is wrong and has to be stopped up front, no excuses! Why is a woman to be penalized when someone comes on to them, especially in a work environment, with the caveat that this attention is undesirable and, or unwanted.
The rules may work for some but seem impractical and presume a burden on women execs productivity issues aside are not fair or practical:
• Never go alone for Client meetings or media rounds unless you know the people really well
This is clearly damn hard to do, to expect to be chaperoned by someone for every meeting is both demeaning as well as indicates and disability for a woman exec! I know some very fine PR Execs (peers, bosses, subordinates) who also happen to be women and I know they will not appreciate being placed in a straight jacket. One that will put them a clear disadvantage in doing certain assignments!
• Always go with someone along and have the team anyways with you….so that you are not just in good company but also do not have to come back and summarize the meeting details to your team
I know several executives quite capable of summarizing meetings. Are we trying to confront sexual harassment or camouflage real issues in minutes-of-meeting?
• Try to meet Clients and Media in their offices and if you are meeting them outside for lunch or snack meet at a place which is more fun, casual and crowded instead of restaurants with a certain ambience
It is not always a function of your comfort where you choose to meet a client. Can you make such a rule? I very much doubt it.
• Dress appropriately…. This is a profession of not just overt communication processes but of informal, subliminal and behavioral communication. Dress decently to not attract any unwanted attention
This is too personal to make into a rule. Who decides what is decent? I mean what is the standard? What is style to some might be anathema to others. Unwanted attention is just that, it has nothing to do with how someone is dressed. Lecherous behaviour is another fact of life but does that mean that everyone should wear a veil or introspect on their dress or character for possible causes ever time someone hits on them!
This is faulty logic and places the onus of respectability and decency on a woman unfairly.
Being able to discuss such an incident and have the backing of your team is what is really important here to discourage such behaviour.
The proverbial wolves are within an organization and out and there is no easy solution to this moral dilemma but I am glad you had the courage to bring this into a public forum.
On Apr 14, 2008, Nikita Merchant said:
Good post Madhavi.
You know, this issue, has been just driving me away from PR and yes, I do know that’s not the solution.
In this profession, we are encourged to build cordial relationships with the journalists. Of course, there are professional ways to build that rapport but unfortunately, sometimes you are encouraged to develop on those. Your principles are good and practical Madhavi, but they are possible only because of your team support which may or may not always be the case with everyone.
You are right, sometimes you just have to stand by yourself or at least learn to do so.
Nikita
On Apr 14, 2008, Madhavi Mukherjee said:
dear Shael
I do not think there is any ambiguity of thoughts in what i wanted to write. Let’s be honest…as much as I would love to stand up for the entire woman force for their rights and why they have to put up against some crap sometimes…I think it’s high time we all admit that there this world is no utopia for women and it’s okay to admit or understand some codes of conducts if you have to hold your head high and work with self esteem and integrity in tact.
I gave those pointers basis what I do myself…as far as minutes of meetings are concerned…that was a comment in humour to be taken with a pinch of salt. As far as going with people to a meeting is concerned, I don’t know why it should be demeaning. I belong to an organisation that advises people to not go alone unless you are senior enough to handle a meeting or you know the people well enough. How bad is that to ask? I don’t want to go into a point wise clarification.
The points I gave are the ones I abide by and I have more often than not filled my kitty with respect, a huge sense of esteem and no insecurity to be a part of this profession…no matter what the perception.
And most importantly I have the guts to walk out of this place if my organisation does not take a stand against any Client or media who mis behaves with me and I have equal strength in my fists to land a punch on anyone’s face who tries to act smart with me.
It’s intelligent and wise to not be a feminist at times coz the world isnt.
On Apr 14, 2008, Madhavi Mukherjee said:
Thanks Nikita for your comments.
The onus is seriously on ourselves to take care of ourselves. As far I know you are trust me an organisation that will stand by you should there be any crisis of the sorts that I have discussed.
As far as cordial relationships with media and clients are concerned…Clients are never friends and media is to be treated with respect and a distance enough to make you respectable. Mot media today are an amazing bunch of people who take their job seriously and are professional. As Palin said, days of wining and dining in PR are over. it is seriously about how you conduct yourself. And trust me…help and support is always near at hand…just a phone call away
Cheers
Mads
On Apr 14, 2008, Madhavi Mukherjee said:
Himanshu, you are right…. A knowledgeable person shuts all doors of indecent behaviour and conversation… if you are true to the profession, well read, professional in your approach to work and crisp in how you deal with people…you will not attract the nuisance people of the lot.
And the least…if you do sense some wierd person interacting with you… please please bring it up to the notice of seniors at both ends of organisation…client as well as yours…you are sure to find support…if not…then either of them don’t deserve your time, energy and intelligence… just walk out!
On Apr 14, 2008, Shashank Jaitely said:
The topic discussed here has been contemporary for decades. It is common in all the industries but PR and advertising get the focus because they still carry the glamour tag with them.
Madhavi, I agree with you fully. Integrity comes first. Business and profits can wait. But let me highlight the flip side to it, which unfortunately very much exists. What about the women professional who want to and intentionally indulge into this misconduct just for the sake of fast-track growth? I have been witnessed to so many instances where the girl associate has used the “charms” (could not think of a better word!) to get both client endorsements and internal appreciation. They know what to wear and say at the right time and that brings out best results for them.
I really appreciate their survival instincts..!
On Apr 14, 2008, Madhavi Mukherjee said:
Hey Shashank
to each his own I guess…About girls who you talk about then this is not an issue then for them. It’s a way of thinking. I just am just talking on behalf of all who have faced it in the normal course of work where girls do not believe in working their way up through sleaze but hard work and meet such scums en route.
Moral of the story i guess is Stand up for yourself and do not stop shy of reporting mis behaviour. Only then will those sick minds be brought to the books.
Thanks for writing in…
Cheers
On Apr 15, 2008, Shashank Jaitely said:
Hi, I agree again. Agencies do let off clients that cross the limits of decency. The agency I use to work with sometime back has done that on numerous occassions.
Your check list surely will comes handy for many. Can I add one more to the list? It is better to cary a strong pepper spray to the meetings happening late in the evenings. When any jerk tries to get smart, let his eyes bleed…:-)
Cheers.
On Apr 15, 2008, Prasad A. said:
Hi ,
The behavior of an individual is the general reflection of the society he/she belongs to.I feel no difference in individuals behavior professionally or otherwise. Yes what Madhavi says has point but Women cannot protect themselves all the time from unknown unknowns. The whole society is getting corrupt. and if we keep glorifying advertisements which show women running after a block because he wears a particular body spray , what else do you expect?. If being a man i find these adds
objectionable , i am surprised how women don’t protest. Best thing is stop being a product.
On Apr 15, 2008, Bhawna said:
Hey Madhvi,
Infact there is a client of mine who asked me to join him for dinner which I declined nicely. But this did not stop him from asking me to join him for some yoga session in Hiamalyas. So, when my boss came to meet him I bring up this topic. Not only this I also subtly hinted that he asked me to join him. At this, my client was extremely embarrassed and no doubt I enjoyed it.
However, I can bet my right arm that nothing can deter his spirit. He started sending me jokes (Not dirty) but he never got any replies .
I did not get upset by all this because I have got an understanding boss and a great team to work with. Vivek, my boss, has made it clear that I can quit this client whenever I feel like.
Therefore, it is very important to have an understanding boss, and you should also know how to deal with such unprofessional people.
On Apr 15, 2008, Bhawna said:
Hey Madhvi,
Infact there is a client of mine who asked me to join him for dinner which I declined nicely. But this did not stop him from asking me to join him for some yoga session in Hiamalyas. So, when my boss came to meet him I bring up this topic. Not only this I also subtly hinted that he asked me to join him. At this, my client was extremely embarrassed and no doubt I enjoyed it.
However, I can bet my right arm that nothing can deter his spirit. He started sending me jokes (Not dirty) but he never got any replies
.
I did not get upset by all this because I have got an understanding boss and a great team to work with. Vivek, my boss, has made it clear that I can quit this client whenever I feel like.
Therefore, it is very important to have an understanding boss, and you should also know how to deal with such unprofessional people.
On Apr 15, 2008, Priya said:
Hi Madhavi,
While I completely respect your approach to the issue and the way you (strongly) feel about it there are few paradoxes which I would like to put up. I have fortunaltely/unfortunately been a part of the agency you work for currently. It is not as easy as you profess to get away with things at times in an agency work-life though you know its a bad world in (the agency) as much as outside (client/media). Let me bring some light to this inference. While being in the agency, I have been told (read commanded) to “do whatever it takes – use your charms and even sleep with” to get the journalist to do a story for a specific client! And now for the paradox – it came from a woman colleague. How ‘crappy’ can it get? While every women (no matter in which profession) would strive to be guarded there are times when you face such situations more so within the agency than what you would probably outside.
). No matter where a woman is employed in a PR agecny or an Ad agency what is important is to have your own values and to live for it. After all, integrity is also a matter of choice for some in this industry.
And as you mentioned in one of your comments – “And most importantly I have the guts to walk out of this place if my organisation does not take a stand against any Client or media…” Well Madhavi I did walk out but not because my organization didnt take a stand against any client or media but in this case of employee with as much rights as me working for the same organization and infact not adding any value to the organization for years. Your post is informative but there are more beyond words to be comprehended. However I am glad that you did bring out such an issue to daylight and the number of comments it has bought in (including mine
On Apr 16, 2008, Priya said:
Hey Madhavi,
Hope to soon hear your comments on my post…
On Jul 4, 2008, abhilasha said:
I know am slightly late on replying to this. But my take on this is that the problems cited by Madhavi could be faced by any woman professional in any field. Be it marketing, sales, journalism or acting (casting couch). So while it is absolutely essential to maintain your diginity and self respect while at work and not bend down to absurd behaviour;it is not fair to say that misbehaviour is very high in public relations.
On Jul 9, 2008, Vikas Kumar said:
I agree with Madhavi that we meet with lewd people. It happens in every industry so you just cannot stop these kind of people. I also agree with the tips you gave. But what about guys? What to do if they come across these type of situation?
Palin.. I need your inputs as well on the same.
On Jun 30, 2009, gas card said:
You are right that mis behavior is not always one sided. Sometimes people fail to see that what they are doing contributes to the negativity. Its much more difficult being a woman in business… maybe in the near future it will get a little easier, but somehow I doubt it.
-Randy